tthhee oddiisee Chapter 48

Are you still in there?

Do you know me?

Have you known me before?

Will you know me in the future?

I know you.

I don’t know what’s inside.

I don’t care.

As long as you’re here.

You’re incredible.

You’re awe-inducing.

You’re terrifying.

You’re sad.

I can feel it

I’m scared.

I can’t feel anything.

How many people were here before me?

How many people will there be afterwards?

How long have you spent in the ground now?

How long will you keep going?

You’re still operating.

You’re still alive.

You might as well be dead.

Stay here.

I want to stay here with you.

I want you to keep me safe.

I want to keep you from harm.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to you.

I don’t want to know what’s going to happen to me.

They’re all leaving.

They all have to go.

I have to go.

I have to leave.

I want to stay.

I want you to leave.

There’s no time left.

You have all the time in the world.

I don’t.

You’re cruel.

You’re kind.

You’re mysterious.

You’re a hunk of metal.

You’re more than a machine.

You’re god himself.

You’re nothing short of a miracle.

You’re an accident.

You’re a mistake.

Are you really in there?

That name doesn’t fit you.

That name is perfect for you.

I get it, but I don’t like it.

I don’t care why you’re named that.

I don’t care why you’re here.

I just care you are here.

I just care you’ll stay here.

I just care you’ll be here when I need you.

I hope you won’t miss me when you don’t.

I hope I won’t miss you when I’m gone.

I wonder if you’ll ever leave.

I wonder if you’ll be here forever.

I couldn’t stand being in one place forever.

I couldn’t stand being away from you forever.

Thank you.

Fuck you.

I’m conflicted.

I don’t know what to think about all this.

I can’t stop thinking about all this.

You’re driving me crazy.

There has to be someone in there.

There can’t be anyone in there.

A monument.

A god.

A friend.

A guardian angel.

A patron saint.

A demon.

A machine.

A man.

A man-machine.

A field of shrapnel.

A failure.

A disaster.

A beautiful work of art.

A lonely boy waiting for someone to help me. I mean, him.

I wish you would talk to me.

I wish you’d stop talking to me.

I wish I knew everything there is to know about you.

I wish I never knew about you.

I wish I could leave here.

I wish I could stay.

I wish I wasn’t so cold.

I wish you weren’t so silent.

I want to see your eyes.

I want to hear your voice.

If you open your eyes, I’ll go insane, I just know it.

Do you even know I’m here?

I want you, carnally.

I want you, spiritually.

I want to free you.

I don’t know if you want to be free.

What would you do on the outside?

Will you ever break through?

I want you here with me.

I love you.


They’re saying I have to go, now. I asked if we could take you with us, but they told me that we couldn’t. We’re the last people on this planet. Not for long, though.

I don’t want to leave, but I have to. They said I’d wallow away here. I don’t get it, they say the black nova isn’t supposed to happen for another hundred years or so, but they told me something about resources. I guess I am pretty young.

I asked if we could get you out of there. They said we couldn’t. They didn’t even know what I was talking about. It’s like they can’t see you, but that’s silly, isn’t it? You’re hard to miss. Maybe I’m weird for noticing you, but no one will tell me.

I don’t know what to say now. I’ll miss you. You’ve been very understanding and you let me talk for so long without complaining. I guess you probably couldn’t complain if you wanted to, sorry. I want you to know, I’ll be thinking of you. I get embarrassed sometimes. I like the way you look. It makes me feel things I don’t understand. I wanted you to help me with it, but I guess you can’t. You don’t really do anything, do you? It’s okay, I still like you.

I really do wish I could take you with me. Maybe you’ll see me again sometime? Tell me what it’s like, okay? No one’s seen a black nova up close, you’ll be the first. But you would have to open your eyes. What are you dreaming about in there? I hope it’s a good dream. I would hate to have nightmares, especially as long as you’ve been asleep.

Anyway, I’ve got a gift for you. They say it’s going to be destroyed before you can see it, but I don’t know, paper lasts a long time, I think. Just don’t get it wet. I drew you. You probably already knew that, I was sitting here the whole time. I’m in the picture, too, just not as big. I didn’t want to impose. I hope you like it. I hope you like me the way I like you.

I’m not going to get a chance to talk to you again. I’ll be talking to you from far away, but I don’t think you’ll hear me. I can’t stay. I’ve got a rocket to catch, and they’ll be mad at me if I miss it. I thought about sneaking away to stay here with you, but I know you wouldn’t like that. Leaving is what’s best for me. I know you don’t talk much, but I know you care. You might not say it, but I know you do.

Well. Goodbye. I know you can’t feel this. I can’t wrap my arms all the way around you anyway, but I do mean it. It’s strange how warm you are. I could fall asleep under your shadow. I’ve done it a few times before. I’m sure I’m not the only one. That’s okay. You’re too big to have only one friend. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway.

It makes me sad that you have to be alone. I know you don’t want that. If I were you, I would beg me to stay. I guess I’m lucky you’re not as immature as I am. You don’t look old though, don’t worry.

Well… goodbye. I love you. Stay safe.


Time passes.

Snow falls.

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