STANDING IN THE WAY OF CONTROL 003: The Hyperkin Duke or Were Webcomics Right? Are They Ever?

This is part of an ongoing series that I've been publishing on my substack, but I'm putting them out here on blogger as well. 

 

In the fall of 2001, the world changed forever. And the original Microsoft Xbox was released shortly afterwards. Yes, the people who made predatory spreedsheet software were getting into the home console market, something frightening and new for any company. They had to prove they knew what they were doing: show they were bold and different, but competent and forward-thinking. You need to make a statement with the way your users interact with your DirectXBox: the controller. There’s was the standard, reliable DualShock 2; the wild, yet ergonomic gamecube controller, and for Microsoft, they bet it all on what would alter be known as “the Duke.” In America, anyway, in Japan they started with the controller S, which is the sole reason the console has never caught on in the region (just because I’m making it up doesn’t mean I’m not right). While it didn’t have an official name during its heyday, it would probably be better known as a laughingstock. 

If you were unfortunate enough to be online during whatever fucking generation of consoles we’re calling this, you would be inundated with jokes in the likes of Penny Arcade and countless other forgotten webcomics and “comedy” articles about the unwieldy size of the Duke controller (and about how Nintendo is for babies and everyone, regardless of their console affiliation, is gay). It wasn’t long before Microsoft quietly replaced the beast of a controller with their smaller S controller, doing their best to erase it from the consumer’s minds. And so, the controller would be remembered as a funny misstep, with only those with freakishly large hands pining for the days of the Duke (apologies to any giant-handed people reading this, you’re still beautiful to me). But you can’t stop nostalgia, no matter how much damage it has done to the world culturally, politically, and otherwise.

Hyperkin surprised everyone by officially licensing the Xbox Duke for modern reproduction back in 2018, working on PCs and Xbox. And possibly switch. I just assume every controller works on the switch, and I’m usually right. It gave us the unique opportunity to ask if those nerds from Penny Arcade were actually right. It’s usually safe to say “no,” but you know, broken clock or whatever.

 

So let’s talk about the Dreamcast. I promise this is related. Microsoft’s relationship with Sega isn’t exactly a secret, the Dreamcast shipped with Windows CE available on it and there was a persistent rumor that the Xbox was going to be re-branded as the Sega Xbox in Japan (and possibly elsewhere) in an effort to sell more to the Japanese market. Hell, it probably would’ve helped in the European markets as well. And if they were to license their hardware to TecToy, well, the sky is the limit! Microsoft: do that. This is really a persistent rumor, as even before the unveiling of the Xbox Series X there were rumors they would be sold as Sega Xboxs in Japan, despite that making absolutely no sense. It’s not like Japan hasn’t forgotten that the Xbox is Microsoft device, you can’t just slap Sega’s name onto something and expect everyone to suddenly do a 180 on their opinion of the company.

While the Sega branding obviously fell through, there’s tell-tale signs of Sega’s involvement in the creation of the Xbox. It was the only console in that generation to come with LAN capabilities built in, setting Microsoft to take over the SegaNet throne. There are also the exclusives that made it onto the platform like Jet Set Radio Future, Shenmue II, Panzer Dragoon Orta, Crazy Taxi 3, and so on. Most of these games seem like they were originally planned for a second Dreamcast before being ported over to Microsoft’s big green machine. But the biggest tell is the controller.

 

No, not that Dreamcast controller, this dreamcast controller. 

BAM!

 

The Performance Astropad was the premier third party controller for Dreamcast, and when I bought my Dreamcast in 2008, my local game store (Game Force, for what it’s worth) was lousy with these things for $15 a piece. They’re not the most amazing things in the world, but they do have built-in rumble for whatever that’s worth. Fifteen dollars, apparently. Add on a second stick, the black and white buttons, and you got something close the Duke. The VMU slot is still there, even if the window is blocked out by a piece of plastic. Even the colors of the buttons are the same. Y’know, kind of. Look, I’m reaching, but come with me on this, okay?

Again, this is mostly rumor and speculation, I think that the Xbox was going to be the successor tot the dreamcast but that idea fell through somewhere in the middle of designing the controller. So, you mix up the colors scheme and you make the C and Z buttons black and white buttons, respectively.

Okay, enough history and speculation, let’s talk about this mini-usb abomination. For the most part, it’s an accurate recreation of the original article, but there’s no need for a memory slot ,so that’s been filled with plastic. Seems like a missed opportunity to me, why not put in a bunch of USB-A ports to make it either more useful or super hot in your hands? In addition, the start and back buttons have been turned into… whatever it is these buttons on the modern Xbox controllers are called. Does anyone know? The Menu and Windows buttons? I don’t know. You don’t know. Does Phil Spencer know? Unclear. The Xbox Logo is now the Home button and it has an LCD screen with the Xbox flubber animation when you plug it in. Which is kinda stupid, but still fun.

The most egregious additions are the bumper buttons. Of course, you need these for modern games, but the implementation here is… uh, a little off. I mean, I’m not sure where else on this thing you would put the bumpers, and this is more or less fine The only problem is you kind of have to reorient your fingers so that you can have your index fingers on the bumpers and your middle fingers on the triggers. It’s a little weird, but it felt strangely alright, if just a bit awkward. It’s workable, but not ideal.

Look at this ridiculous thing. Look how far away from the trigger it is.

 

So, lets get into the boring stuff. The sticks and triggers are completely fine. I really like the different size thumb pads here. The right one is a bit smaller, I assume for more precise aiming abilities, and despite the size of the Duke, the other components are in easy reach, letting me hit the X and A buttons by only tilting my thumb while still attached to the stick. This thing really seems like it was tailor-made for Halo. Or the other way, I never worked at Bungie, I don’t know shit.

But here’s where we get into one of the big, weird decisions: the face buttons. When it comes to design, I would say that the original Xbox was where we think of as the “standard” controller layout was starting to take form with the four-face button layouts. Hell, even the Gamecube controller had four face buttons! Weird face buttons, but there were fucking four of them. But the Duke is a six-button controller hiding as a four-button controller. It’s easy to dismiss the black and white buttons as a clumsy way to replace the bumpers, but are they? Lets’ turn this thing on its side and take a look. Doesn’t it suddenly look like there’s much more of a connected line between these six buttons? Let’s say Sega wanted to go back to the days when everyone loved them: the Genesis (unless you were in Japan, then it was the Saturn (or the Master System in Brazil. Still)). How do you bring back the six button controller without sacrificing the space you would need for other components? Italicize that shit! Turn them into ovals, and put ‘em on their side. Blam!

 

Personally, I think this is a brilliant idea. The black and white buttons are also separate enough to not put off any third-party developers that were looking to port over their control scheme without much of a headache. I also just really like the way these buttons look. They’re like little colorful gems. Why don’t controllers look like this anymore? It looks so inspired especially compared to the relatively boring, printed-on design on current first-party controllers. I understand why the S controller was redesigned, but this is one of the few things they should’ve kept. You could’ve made the Xbox a fighting game powerhouse if it weren’t for…

The abominable D-Pad.

 

Look, I really wanted to build this controller up, I did, but what is this d-pad? Okay, I’m going to try and look at this from the perspective of Microsoft. You’re making a cutting-edge console with the newest, most powerful 3D games on the market. Yeah, you still need a d-pad for menus and stuff, but how does it work in a 3D space? It doesn’t! So you make it look futuristic while making it feel less essential. Yeah, it works. Technically. But I would avoid using this thing unless I absolutely had to. I don’t know if that’s the goal here, but that’s how it feels. It’s a huge misstep.

And… yeah, it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room: it’s a bit too big. Yeah, I could’ve easily just said that the controller is the size of an elephant in a strained joke, but I have more dignity than that ^(source?). One the actual face of the controller, it’s fine. I don’t mind both halves of the controller being somewhat spread apart, it’s not like I’ve ever encountered a game where I had to cross my thumbs or whatever (there was that sequence in Heavy Rain in the junkyard, but we don’t acknowledge Quantum Dreams output a proper video games). But this thing is thick. Playing with it starts out pretty comfortable for me, but it stretches my palms out too much and causes strain in my fingers after playing for long hours in a way that other controllers don’t.

So yeah, I get it. I still won’t acknowledge Penny Arcade as having any sort of legacy, but they had a point that they made. More than once. Replacing the controller with the S is a sensible decision, though it feels sort of like they threw the baby out with the bathwater. Despite the flaws, I can’t hate this thing. I appreciate all of what’s it trying to do I’m haunted by what could have been. They shot for the stars and ended up burning in the sun forever. The original Xbox, in general, seems like something Microsoft wanted to forget the second the 360 hit the market, but this will always stand as a testament to when anything was possible. Y’know, until I hawk it to GameStop or whatever. It’s not that good.